Post OP Day 4

So, four days ago I had my gastric bypass surgery. My surgery went well, and I came home the next day. I did have some pain on Saturday morning, my pain level went from a 4 to a 9 within 20 minuets. Of course this happened right at nurse change over. Once the next dose of pain medicine was given, along with nausea medicine, I began to feel much better. I was able to go home later in the day.

Norco was my friend on Sunday and Monday, however, today I have only taken Tylenol. The liquid only diet is kinda boring, but I am not hungry. I am actually having a hard time eating the required amount of food and protein shakes. It doesn’t help that my 18 month old came home today and drank half my protein shake.

Today, I walked around the park for 13 min, and it felt pretty good. I even went to the fabric store to pick up materials for new projects. After watching a lot of TV for two days, and watching many food commercials, I realized I need  to explore my hobbies during my recovery to keep my mind off my old eating habits. So I will be sewing, reading, and of course grading.

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It has been a crazy week!

Well, last Friday doctor’s office called and asked if I wanted to move up my surgery to March 10th….of course I said yes! My surgery was moved up 4 days, which shortened my prep time at work, and prep time at home. With the help of my amazing team at school I was able to complete my lessons plans and set my classroom up for my sub. It is hard letting others take over some of my responsibilities, but it is best for our kids.

My super sweet kids made me a get well card that everyone signed and gave it to me at the end of the day, it brought tears to my eyes. I am going to miss them during my recovery, but I might actually get caught up on my grading…maybe.

As I am preparing for my gastric bypass, I am grateful for my support network: my wonderful husband, my parents, my in laws, and my friends have been very supportive. I know that they will be there for me though this experience and support me along the way.

 

Why Gastric Bypass

I have been asked by several people why I decided against the Gastric Sleeve, they wanted to know why I would do something as drastic as the bypass. In reality, all weight loss surgery is drastic, to reach a point in our lives that warrants surgery to cope and repair is drastic. No matter which option people choose, it is not a cure all. The surgery will fix the eating, but not the mind.

Originally my intention was to have the sleeve procedure, and I have friends that have been very successful with the sleeve, and friends that have success with the bypass. The gastric sleeve is a great option for some, but it is not the right option for me. At my first bariatric appointment, my BMI was 48.9, clearly morbid obesity. My doctor was amazing; we discussed the pros and cons of each procedure, and he gave me the time to make the decision.

This decision was causing inner turmoil. Was the gastric sleeve enough? Would it help me deal with and overcome my food issues? Would I lose enough weight? I truly believe that I knew all along that I need the gastric bypass. I need the sugar sensitivity. I need the dumping syndrome. These side effects will become my tools, they will become my part of my success. They will keep my body in check while I heal the mind.

So why Gastric Bypass? It is the right weight loss surgery for me.

Process

February 20, 2017

Balance, harmony, stability, cohesion, they are just words, but words with meaning. What does balance in life look like?  What are the answers? I’m supposed to be balanced, I have a career I love (most days), a house, two wonderful boys, and a husband that loves and supports me. I can check all of the boxes that equal happiness, but that joy eluded me.

In early 2016 I started the process towards weight loss surgery. I was going for my weight checks, but not telling my provider how I was feeling. She would ask and I would say, “fine”. But I wasn’t fine, I was faking fine, hiding behind busy schedules, taking care of sick kids and a sick husband, lesson planning and grading. That was one year ago, a dark place, and survival mode. It took the passing of my grandmother-in-law to realize that I needed help. According to Dr. Google I was suffering from postpartum depression. My provider prescribed anti-depressants and therapy. Within days of the medicine I began to feel again, to be happy, and to be a better mom, wife and friend. My husband noticed the difference and said he hadn’t seen me this happy since before our first kid. That was quite a reality check for me.

After a few therapy sessions I realized that depression has been in my life off and on for years. Dealing with my weight and infertility has led to bouts of depression.  Realizing that I might not live as long to see my kids have kids because of my morbid obesity weighed heavily on my mind. The only way I knew how to handle that feeling is to eat. Now, I can recognize that I am eating emotionally, and can identify what triggered the eating. Still need to work on not eating because of my emotions. It is not going to be an easy but I know I can do it.

The meds are not a cure all, nor do I want to take them for the rest of my life, but they have allowed me to recognize when I am upset over something. They help me express myself when I am upset instead of holding it all in and eating. There are some negative side effects to the meds such as tiredness, sexual dysfunction, and a craving for carbs, but these have decreased over time. The gastric bypass is not a cure all either. I will still have to deal with my emotional eating, however after my surgery I will physically be sick if I eat too much food. I need that. I need the food restrictions, especially the sugar restrictions in order to reach my goal of a healthy weight. I am doing this for me, but I can’t do it on my own. I know that I will need the support of my family, friends, doctors, and therapist.

This journey has also reaffirmed how important my friends are to me. I know that I won’t be as successful without the support of my friends. They know when I am ok, and when I am not. I know that they are there when I need them. I hope that I am as good of a friend to them as they are to me.

My next step towards stability 22 days until my gastric bypass surgery. 22 days till my eating habits are surgically changed. 22 days till the next chapter in my odyssey.

I have not achieved balance, but have made steps towards harmony.